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Apr 06, 2009 -- How to talk to your kids about a job loss
CLARKONOMICS: Lost your job recently and don't know how to tell your children?
Clark has some direct experience here that he'd like to share. The consumer champ is fond of saying that he grew up on "the silver spoon plan" with a very comfortable upbringing. But while attending college back in the '70s, he came home one Thanksgiving to discover his father had lost his job.
Suddenly, there would be no more money to pay for his education. His father was stressed over how to break the news to his son. Yet Clark took it all in stride. He responded by saying he would just get a full-time job and work his way through school at night. His father's mind was eased very quickly.
So often we as parents are afraid to share news about a loss of income with our children because we fear it will uproot their world. But that's not always the case. In Clark's instance, having to pay his own way really taught him valuable lessons about the value of hard work.
Be sure to say age-appropriate things to your children if you're discussing a layoff. For younger kids, they'll just want to know that they'll still be able to eat. You might also let them know that they'll be getting to see more of you -- rather than less of you -- in the near future.
For teens, however, a layoff means you may not be able to provide what they got used to you providing. You are only responsible for the safety and welfare of your children; that does not include giving them money to go to the movies or the mall.
A parent's layoff can actually be a surefire cure for "affluenza" -- that modern American disease of having too much stuff and too much money that afflicts some kids.
Remember that your kids are resilient and will probably be able to handle the news better than you expect.
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What others are saying
I agree, Clark!
I think not sharing your situation with the children is a mistake. They are part of the family, and there are lessons to be learned in hardship.
When I was only 5 years old, my father was laid off. My folks were very upfront with me about what happened, and the changes to expect in our lifestyle. I understood, and look, 40 years later, I never forgot. I remember that we ate a lot more meals at home! What seemed like only a few weeks later, my dad had found a new job. I'm glad my parents were honest with me. Now that we are in THIS economy, I realize that it's OK to be flexible and change spending habits to overcome a tough financial situation.
