Clark is often taken to task for his horrible eating habits. As a young man, his family called him "the carryout kid" because his four food groups were fried, frozen, microwavable and takeout. Listeners always tell the penny-pinching guru that his eating habits will be the death of him. But DNA also plays a big role in lifespan. Remember the controversy over the Orwellian scenario of insurers mapping out your DNA before taking you on as a customer? On a lighter note, there are now dozen of outfits that will tell you (for about $1K) what diseases or addiction problems your offspring will have based on DNA. Clark can just hear the future generations dodging personal responsibility: "But I was supposed to be an alcoholic or a cokehead based on my DNA!"

Now there's a company called ScientificMatch that promises to find you the most perfect mates based on actual physical chemistry revealed via genetic mapping. They're offering a half-price deal ($995 bucks) right now. Presumably no one will pay $2K to find a soul mate! This whole marketing push reminds Clark of the full-body scans that were being offered in the '90s. There were mobile units that would come out and see what lurked inside you.